Tales from The Trenches Archive

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Not Even a Game.

I once had to “test,” for two weeks straight, 8 hours a day, a series of advertisements for a new channel that would be coming to the console. Keep in mind, what I was testing was not the channel itself, but rather the ads announcing the channel. 

These consisted of eight screens of pictures and text (maybe 650 words total) and a video, each two-and-a-half minutes long.  Our crack-team of FIVE TESTERS finished putting the ads through their paces in well under an hour, yet somehow the project was slotted for two straight weeks. Going to work to do absolutely nothing is bad, but what I didn’t mention is that we were put in the “cage” to do our work. Despite having nothing to do with this particular testing project, the “cage” was a room designed to block out extraneous wireless signals, so wireless connectivity could be tested in a relative vacuum.

I cannot describe the base and terrifying levels our psyches reached. By the end of that two week span, I knew that what normal people call “boredom” did not even begin to approach the intricate, diabolical knowledge of that state of being which I now, forever and to my great sorrow, possess.